Dead Blind Read online

  It appeared that the head injury from the car accident had damaged his fusiform gyrus, which was a part of his brain located behind his right ear, though this damage wouldn’t specifically show up on an MRI scan.

  And there was no cure. It was a diagnosis he would have to learn to live with.

  Other than his problem with faces, everything else was fine, he was healthy, fit, his mental agility was great. He could do this. He’d proved it in his life for the past five months. That was why he had made the decision to return to work, even with the problem. He had learned to compensate for his lack of facial recognition by using the tips and skills that his nurse, Elizabeth, had taught him. It worked in the main. It was only if he was in a situation when he didn’t expect to see someone that a problem arose. But in this role, mostly office-based as a supervisor, working with the same people day in, day out, only going to crime scenes after the offence had been committed and long after any offender had been there, he didn’t foresee a time when it would cause the force a problem. He’d spent many a day considering his options, seriously thinking about whether he ought to jack in his job because of the hand life had dealt him. But, with practice, he knew he could cope. And the job wouldn’t suffer for it. After all, he wasn’t what they called frontline policing. If he had been, then the diagnosis would be a problem and he would have no choice but to medically retire, leave the job. But no, he was dealing with crimes and people after the fact. There wouldn’t be a problem.

  So he would continue to deceive, to pull the wool over the eyes of his friends. He’d made the decision and he knew he couldn’t own up. The job was too risk-averse. Christ, they had gone through a phase where you had to have training to climb a ladder when doing a search! Luckily someone had seen sense on that one, but that was the way things were going and Ray didn’t want to be a casualty of the health and safety squad. He knew he could do the job and that he still had a hell of a lot to offer.

  ‘I’m good to go,’ he said. And he meant it.

  3

  They trickled in. Carrying handbags, cups of takeaway coffee, newspapers and bacon sandwiches. The morning unfurled before him like a flower under the glare of the sun. Steady at first and then all at once, at which point Ray felt as though he was drowning.

  He’d made two lists in the week before he came back to work. Well, one was a list, the other was more of a drawing, a seating plan of the office and where everyone sat. The list was of all the people he worked with and all the ways in which he could identify them. Idiosyncrasies he could pick up on, identifiable hairstyles, heights, weights, walks, speech patterns and accents, though that one would be difficult if they didn’t talk. He tried to list a marker for everyone he knew he would encounter, including the civilian staff. But, there were too many staff here, he wasn’t sure he had managed to memorise it all or whether he had thought of an identifier for everyone or had chosen well for each of them. He had two detective sergeants, eight detective constables and a couple of civvies in the office full time. That was a hell of a lot of people to memorise. It was a work in progress.

  Tamsin was in first. One of his two DSs; he remembered how she liked to get in before her DCs. She was eager, dedicated, focused on the job and little else. Ray didn’t know if she had much of a home life. She’d dated some but they’d never seemed to stick. He remembered her hair was a bundle of curls and this made Tamsin’s identification one of the easier ones.

  ‘Guv! Great to see you back.’ She refused to call him Ray. A stickler for protocol.

  ‘Good to be back, Tamsin. I trust you’ve managed without me.’

  She smiled. ‘Only just. We need you to keep everyone in check. It hasn’t been the same without you.’

  ‘Ah, Will and Paula?’

  ‘How did you guess?’ Another smile as she flicked on her computer terminal.

  He was glad she’d kept her hair the same. He started to walk back to his office. This would be a long day and he needed time to breathe, to process between each conversation, as much as he could anyway.

  ‘Never fear, normality has resumed, Tamsin.’

  The guy knocked on his office door. Ray scanned him, looked for tells, tried to figure out who this was. He scratched his head. Couldn’t do it. He’d have to wing it.

  ‘Hey, come on in.’

  He was smartly dressed, not a cheap suit. An expensive-looking watch on his wrist. Not a single hair on his head. ‘DI Patrick, I’m DI Joe Lang, I covered for you while you were recuperating. I’m glad you’re fit enough to be back.’ He held a hand out across the desk. Ray stood and took it. That was why he didn’t recognise him: he didn’t know him. Thank Christ.

  He indicated with his hand for Joe to take a seat. ‘Thanks for running the ship, Joe, I appreciate it. I hope they behaved while I was gone.’

  ‘It was my pleasure. You’ve a great team here. Work well together. All I’ve done is keep it ticking over. I’ve made no changes. I’m headed back to my stomping ground today so I thought I’d show my face and welcome you back. Let you know who’s been sitting in your chair and all that.’

  ‘Appreciate it. Where is your ground?’

  ‘South of the river, at Brixton. I’m sure there’s a ton-load of work waiting for me.’

  ‘It never stops, does it?’

  ‘They don’t know how to take a day off to let us catch up.’

  ‘It’d be nice.’

  ‘I know the Super arranged a briefing for your first day back to catch you up and for you to meet Billy, I’m sure you’ll be up to speed in no time, but if I can do anything to help, give me a shout.’

  ‘Thanks. Trading in human organs – sounds a fascinating one.’

  Lang rubbed his already shined head. ‘That’s the one. Definitely an interesting job you got there. I’m quite sad to leave at this point, but as it’s because you’re back to full health, I’m good with it.’ He stood. ‘Cheers, mate.’

  ‘Would you stay for the briefing?’ asked Ray, ‘You’ve been here from the start and I’ve had a call from reception to say that Billy is here. I’m new to him, it’d help if you were here to hand over.’

  ‘Absolutely. Let’s get this show on the road.’

  4

  The kids decided that this morning would be the day they would do everything in their power to make Elaine late for work. Paul had already left. Without fail he was out the door at seven a.m. for his drive to school. That left Elaine to get the kids out of bed, breakfasted, dressed and dropped off at the childminder so she could take them to school, so that Elaine could make it in time for her job.

  But today – today she stood and watched as Halle flicked soggy cornflakes at her brother, who was turning a darker shade of red as the seconds ticked by.

  Had someone drip fed Halle E numbers in the night? Elaine wondered as she took in the scene as if from a distance, watching but not quite connecting. This couldn’t happen, today of all days, so if she didn’t engage with it, then maybe it wasn’t.

  Eventually Hayden reared up, roared, split the air in the kitchen diner and broke through the fog that had been protecting Elaine. His cereal bowl flew as his hand moved upwards and caught the rim of the bowl.

  Elaine shouted one word at the two children in front of her. ‘NO.’

  They froze. Looked at their mother. Silenced.

  The bowl ended its journey upside down in Halle’s lap.

  Elaine ran her hands through her hair. Looked at her watch.

  ‘Get upstairs. Get changed and get straight back down here.’ The two children were mesmerised by the anger in their mother’s face. ‘Now.’ They scuttled off.

  It was his first day back at work and she’d wanted to get in early. Kids seemed to have a sensor for things like this. If ever she needed to get somewhere early they threw a spanner in the works.

  Sod’s law, the drive to the childminder’s house was more congested than usual. An inconsequential bump between two drivers half an hour earlier had caused traffic to concertina to a cr
awl past the two cars as the drivers exchanged details and the younger driver waited for a parent to come along and soothe stressed nerves.

  Elaine practically threw the children at Priya, and drove as quickly as the traffic allowed to get into the office. Past the new White Hart Lane ground, which had proved a challenge for a long time in her efforts to get to work but was now back to pre-construction traffic levels, south into Stoke Newington, she managed to make the thirty-minute journey in just short of twenty-five minutes. It would probably be wise to approach the post in a morning with some level of caution for the next two weeks in case there were any red lights she may have had a close call with.

  She hadn’t seen Ray since the hospital. She felt that he’d avoided her. He had only picked the phone up in response to her calls on one occasion. (Though, in fairness, he’d pretty much avoided everyone, if what they’d all said was right.) But Elaine had felt an undercurrent when they met at the hospital. A distance that wasn’t usually there. Yes, circumstances were well outside their usual parameters in that they were both recovering from a serious car accident, but still, she hadn’t expected the reserve she’d experienced from him.

  She took her right hand off the steering wheel and traced the outline of the scar that trailed from the side of her right eye down and around under it. Caused by the narrow metal of the glasses she’d worn on the day of the smash, she’d now taken to wearing contacts. Something about the feel of spectacles on her face made her uncomfortable, claustrophobic almost. The skin was smoothing, feeling less rough under her fingers, but it was still visible and would be for some time. The doctors had told her she would always have it; it would fade, but the scar would stay. It didn’t bother her. She had a strong marriage and she was confident in herself. It was a small section of her face and it didn’t bother her. It couldn’t have been avoided so there was no point in feeling angry about it, but as she felt the slightly puckered skin under her fingers, Elaine wondered if the reason for Ray’s distance was this very scar on her face.

  She pushed her foot down on the gas pedal and cursed the car in front when they didn’t do the same. The clock on the dashboard mocked her. With every minute that passed it reminded her that she had failed this morning. Her plan to be in early, to have a quiet word, all gone to shit.

  Everyone was in by the time she rushed up the stairs. It was cool outside but the stress of the morning, trying to find a spot to park in the cramped yard out back and then the run up the stairs, had only served to heat Elaine up and she felt warm, sticky, uncomfortable. Dumping her bag on her chair, she looked around for the guv, found him in his office with the stand-in DI, cursed under her breath again and pulled the hair-elastic from her wrist and wrapped it around her hair, tying it up and away from her now damp neck.

  ‘You okay?’ asked Tamsin as she looked at the dishevelled mess Elaine knew she must look.

  ‘Yeah.’ She threw her bag on the floor and dropped into the now vacant seat. ‘I wanted to see the guv before the day got started properly. You spoke to him? How is he?’

  ‘He seems okay.’ With a look from Elaine, she clarified. ‘Really.’ Tamsin tapped her pen on the desk a couple of times before speaking again. ‘What about you?’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Yes, you. You okay? You look a little … stressed.’

  ‘The kids.’

  Tamsin waited a beat. ‘You know, if you need to chat … now he’s back …’

  Elaine tightened the band that held her hair in its ponytail and looked at Ray’s office again.

  5

  The incident room was packed, and Ray’s nerves were shot. His early morning, when he could take his return to work in his own stride, had been and gone, and now his senses were under assault as he attempted to assimilate all the people around him into the information he knew about his work colleagues.

  He’d said a good morning and identified Paula and Will, two DCs on the team who worked together, travelled in together and were pretty much like a comedy double-act. And who rarely took any subject seriously. Paula had a gentle, lilting Scottish accent. Ray recalled a conversation with her when she told him she’d moved down from Edinburgh and he’d looked shocked. Her accent was too soft. She’d laughed at him and said that she wasn’t originally from the city, she had been brought up by her grandmother in the Highlands, but at the earliest opportunity had moved to the bright lights. As for visual cues, she wore a large, white gold ring on her right thumb. He hoped she never decided to take it off or he’d be screwed until she opened her mouth. Relying on speech wasn’t a sensible way to work identification.

  Will, meanwhile, was short for a guy, but what he lacked in height he more than made up in girth. And, as Ray remembered (there was nothing wrong with his memory), he was one of the best interviewers on the team. Patient, calm and tenacious.

  Standing at the front of the room with Joe, Ray felt he was about to complete the biggest bluff of his career.

  ‘Settle down, guys.’ He banged on the desk he was perched on with an empty mug that he’d found abandoned there. (A thin layer of what was probably coffee sat at the bottom, but was now growing antibiotics. They were a disgusting lot. Never ones to clear up after themselves.) The room fell silent. All eyes on him.

  He could see the eyes, only he couldn’t recognise a single pair.

  ‘I’ve spoken to a few of you as you’ve come in today. It’s good to be back. Thank you for your support over the past few months.’ He meant it. They’d visited – even on the days he’d refused visitors, he’d been told who had been in. They’d sent cards and alcohol – though the hospital had refused to allow him to drink it. His team knew he’d prefer it to a bunch of flowers.

  A cheer went up from the room.

  ‘You managed to get out your house okay this morning I see, guv?’

  Ray ran his eyes over the desks, the layout of the room, ran names through his head as he did it. Will. He furrowed his brow at the comment.

  ‘Didn’t lock yourself in.’

  Ah. There was a roar of laughter around the room. Joe gave him a puzzled look; he shook his head.

  ‘I made sure I left the key where I could find it. Doors are a troublesome issue if you’re not careful.’

  Will stood; he held something in his hand. ‘We got you a little gift for your return, guv.’ And held out his hand.

  Ray walked over to him, picked up the item Will held in his palm and held it up for all to see. It was a length of wool. At one end was a child’s mitten and at the other end, where the other mitten should be, was knotted on a key.

  ‘Your office door key, in case you … you know, get locked in.’

  There were guffaws all round now.

  Ray held it up in a cheers pose and placed it on the desk to one side. ‘Good to know I have it. Thank you.’ He’d forgotten the door incident in the last six months. If there was a piss-take to be had though, cops had good memories. ‘I’m grateful to have you lot to take care of me.’ He smiled at them. ‘But now, we have to get back to work. I understand we have an unusual job in the office and an op that we’re about to run. Operation Amphibious. As I haven’t been here for the start of it, I’ll let Joe run the briefing, give me a chance to catch up.’

  Joe stepped forward.

  ‘Before I start, I also want to thank you for being a great team and allowing me to do my job while I’ve been here. You could have been a bunch of twats, but … oh, wait, you were.’

  The room roared with laughter.

  ‘Seriously, though, you bloody were.’ He laughed. ‘And on to the job at hand.’

  6

  Billy didn’t know the new guy. How could he know if he could trust him? In all the time he’d been talking to the cops, he’d dealt with Joe and occasionally one of the others. The team were nice enough but Joe was great. Treated him like a human being. Listened to him. Understood what he’d done, or seemed to, anyway. Told him he’d put himself in danger, but also told him he could see why he’d thought he needed
to do it. In Billy’s eyes, he may as well have told him he’d done the right thing.

  But this new guy in front of him, the slim guy with greying hair, he didn’t know him from Adam.

  He could see the guy eyeing him up, too. Giving him the once over. Appraising him, like.

  Well, two could play at that game. It wasn’t him putting his life in anyone’s hands, was it. It was Billy who had come to them. Trusted them with information and trusted them not to fuck it up and get him killed.

  The guy’s dark eyes were penetrating. Billy felt the weight of his stare. He wanted to tell him to do one, but he couldn’t. Not here. Not on the guy’s own turf. It felt like he was committing everything about Billy to memory. Billy stood there, rigid, trying to stay calm, and took it.

  Eventually the scrutiny was over and the meeting started. It was weird.

  ‘You all know Billy –’ Joe looked across at the new guy, did some weird movement with his arm ‘– Collier.’ The new guy lifted his chin at him in acknowledgement.

  Billy thought Joe would lead the meeting but as it progressed the new guy took over. Spiders skittered about in Billy’s stomach. He wasn’t happy about the sudden change, although apparently the new guy, Ray Patrick, had been off for a while but this was his team and Joe had only been a temporary fix.

  Tamsin handed him a can of Coke. He popped the ring-pull and supped. Having something to do with his hands was a distraction. The team talked around him. Talked about him coming in and giving up the organisation. Talked about his Mama. Updating Patrick.

  ‘Billy came to us a couple of weeks ago because he wants a gang he’s infiltrated bringing down by the police.’

  ‘Let me get this straight, Billy,’ Patrick interjected as he looked him in the eye. ‘You infiltrated the gang. As in, joined with the purpose of ratting them out?’